The Kern Family

[Lipi]

Prior to having my eyes opened as to the kind of brotherhood that will develop among quitters, some of the aspects of quitting dip that I could easily understand were the consequences of NOT quitting dip. I immediately gravitated towards a story which completely crystallized those consequences, the story of a man taken too soon as a result of his nicotine addiction.

 

The story of the Kern Family,  as chronicled by Tom Kern's wife Jenny and daughter Mackenzie, is both heartbreaking and inspiring. My short and completely inadequate summary of the story is that of a devoted family man who wouldn't recognize the dangers of his addiction, and who just never got around to quitting dip, until it was too late. His fight against cancer, his emotional passing, and the real aftermath of his death, (an aftermath that none of us ever consider when selfishly using chewing tobacco), shook me to the core the first time I read it. I urge anyone thinking about quitting dip to read the story in it's entirety. Start at the bottom and work your way back up.If you think you don't have the time, the most recent entry in the blog by Mackenzie encapsulates the biggest reason I am now quit.

 

 

Friday, January 10, 2014 2:12 PM CST

Well, first off I would like to wish everyone a Happy New Year! Kenra and I enjoyed hanging out with some friends, watching the NY ball drop (I convinced her it was midnight so we could go to bed). Here’s to all the New Year’s Resolutions that I am going to TRY to keep!

I have been helping a friend prepare for her wedding. Talking about everything: the shower, the bachelorette party, decorations, food, the venue….and the father/daughter dance. I have finally realized the reason for not wanting to get married. Weddings are all about father’s giving their daughter’s to the man that is suppose to take care of her for the rest of their lives. I wouldn't get that. I wouldn't have my dad there to give me away, to meet the man that is suppose to take care of me for the rest of my life. I couldn't imagine going through that day without him. People say “he will be there in spirit”, yea I get that, but if you haven’t lost a parent, you wouldn't understand. I know that any of my uncles or even my brother would be more than happy to do it, but it still is not my dad.

When I was in high school my dad came and talked to one of my friends’ teen issues class about tobacco (he was going through radiation at the time). He said until that point he never understood that he was not only hurting himself, but he was hurting everyone he had ever met, everyone that cared and loved for him. I am sure he never imagined himself dying, never imagined he would be missing out on so much of our lives. Which I am sure is true to anyone who has every used. No matter the situation (tobacco use, driving drunk, speeding) everyone thinks, “Oh, it won’t happen to me”. WRONG!!! Like my mom has said to so many people, “It doesn't matter what the chances are if it is you that it happens to.

9 1/2 years ago I was that 16 year old, throwing herself on her dad’s feet saying “Don’t go, Dad!” as he took his last breath, realizing everything was going to change from that moment on.

PLEASE, don’t let this be your story!

I can't thank everyone enough for all of your continued wonderful words! Like I have said before, and will continue to say...it really means that world to my family and me.

Kenz

 

Several months ago I took a few minutes to reach out and let the family know what it meant to me, and I heard back from Jenny. She related that although talking about Tom still makes her cry 10 years later, it warms her heart whenever she hears from someone that Tom has inspired, and that she is amazed by how many people Tom's life and her words have helped quit chew. She said that she would pass along the message to her kids and that they also appreciate knowing that others are still being helped by Tom. I would be remiss if I didn't make sure the link was on our site.

[NotSloth]

NotJamesGordon- Testing

[IndianaMike]

@GrizzlyBear @Pawghunter If you haven't read this yet, you should when you have some time.  

[SRains918]

@Tvols-09

@Maggs

@Maverick

If you haven't read through this I HIGHLY recommend you do. It will take some time and it's a tough read, but this will help you dig that quit hole just a little deeper. I first read this within a month or two of my quit date, and it has stuck with me through the years.

[Maggs]

@SRains918 wow, powerful stuff. The way this hit me is that I had a similar experience with my dad. He does of alcoholism when I was 21. We always begged and pleaded with him to stop drinking as it was destroying him and for the last 2 or so years his mind was completely gone. Unfortunately my dad didn't have the opportunity to try at least squeeze some good out of the situation by speaking to people about the dangers.

One of my stoppages was right when my daughter was about to be born for this reason. Not sure what hit me to make me want to be quit this time other than knowing I was a piece of shit. I know the whole not being there for my daughter thing is definitely a part of it. I've never got to know my Dad as an adult which is one of the fun parts of growing up. You can see your parents as people. Unfortunately my adult eyes had to see my dad as an addict shell of his former self which it looks like Ms. Kern had to endure as well. Don't want to put my family through that shit.

 

 

[monkey]

On 4/17/2021 at 11:07 AM, Maggs said:

@SRains918 wow, powerful stuff. The way this hit me is that I had a similar experience with my dad. He does of alcoholism when I was 21. We always begged and pleaded with him to stop drinking as it was destroying him and for the last 2 or so years his mind was completely gone. Unfortunately my dad didn't have the opportunity to try at least squeeze some good out of the situation by speaking to people about the dangers.

One of my stoppages was right when my daughter was about to be born for this reason. Not sure what hit me to make me want to be quit this time other than knowing I was a piece of shit. I know the whole not being there for my daughter thing is definitely a part of it. I've never got to know my Dad as an adult which is one of the fun parts of growing up. You can see your parents as people. Unfortunately my adult eyes had to see my dad as an addict shell of his former self which it looks like Ms. Kern had to endure as well. Don't want to put my family through that shit.

 

 

Fuck alcoholism and those lies addicts tell also.

[Tvols-09]

On 4/17/2021 at 4:01 PM, SRains918 said:

@Tvols-09

@Maggs

@Maverick

If you haven't read through this I HIGHLY recommend you do. It will take some time and it's a tough read, but this will help you dig that quit hole just a little deeper. I first read this within a month or two of my quit date, and it has stuck with me through the years.

Thanks for tagging me here. Unreal stuff. Especially as a guy in his twenties who has definitely had that “it won’t happen to me” thought a million times. It’s easy to realize the little impacts of your quit because you live it and see it every day. It’s great not buying dip every day or worrying about spit bottles, disgusting shit you used to do etc. but for me this is a great reminder that it’s not just about that I was literally killing myself. That quote “the chances don’t really matter when it happens to you” is so spot on. I remember all my buddies and me used to say “my old man dipped since he was a kid and nothing ever happened” like that fucking mattered. So stupid. Never been happier to be quit. Thanks again @SRains918 

[Maverick]

On 4/17/2021 at 4:01 PM, SRains918 said:

@Tvols-09

@Maggs

@Maverick

If you haven't read through this I HIGHLY recommend you do. It will take some time and it's a tough read, but this will help you dig that quit hole just a little deeper. I first read this within a month or two of my quit date, and it has stuck with me through the years.

I never responded to you previously on this but it's very impactful.  I think at the time I was engulfed in rage over something or another and stopped reading notifications, but very powerful and very important. 

[Mitch McDeere]

This is a tough story and I hope it inspires you, but don't quit for your kids or because of cancer.  Quit for you.  

[Jason]

I have read stories about this for years, but as I read this story, it definitely hit me harder for some reason. Not sure if it’s because I lost my mom less than a year ago to lung cancer (not tobacco related) and although I’m much older than the kids in this story, the loss is still hard and she got sick and died very quickly. I can see how it has affected my kids in losing their grandma and know it would be even more difficult losing their dad. This addiction something that was never there to help me in anything I did, and I will keep this story in the front of my mind to assist me in my personal quit.