SRains918 - A tale of two journeys...

[SRains918]

Prelude...

Holy shit did this 100 go faster than my first 100... I don't want to disappoint @Sand44 (who's expecting a thesis), so I'm gonna split this bitch into fucking CHAPTERS!!! 

I was going to go back and read what I'd originally posted just after 100 to kind of refresh my memory, but decided it just wasn't worth it to even try to log back on because I knew something would piss me off... Then I thought I'd simply ignore that first 100 because they don't necessarily apply to folks that quit here at QD (my first 100 weren't here for those of you that come along later, get suckered into reading this, and wonder what the actual fuck I'm talking about). I finally figured out that it actually does have a purpose - it helps show the difference. That my friends, is worth it.

Chapter One - My first, first 100...

My early quit at KaveMart was, ummmm, interesting to say the least. It was a fucking TRAIN WRECK in reality. Day 3 and 4 were spent curled up in a ball in the fetal position on my sofa watching football. I had been quit (stopped, at that point) for 5 or 6 days on my own prior to finding that place searching the big ol' internet because I knew I was hanging on by a thread and I was fucking DONE dipping. I was desperate to find a way to quit. I signed up and started posting. I posted a SHITLOAD. I posted scroll as soon as I woke up, I posted about everything I was going through. I posted enough that it really helped me get through that crap of the early quit (under three weeks) at the time. Then the shit show started. A few folks showed up that were multiple-time-cavers. A few more that were straight up trolls. One multi-caver in particular raised the ire of damn near everyone, and they rode him like a rented mule. He gave it back. It escalated. It became a daily explosion. It became 20+ pages of internet forum shitshow delivered to my monitor every single fucking day. It was absofuckinglutely fantastic (or I thought so at the time), because NOW I had an outlet for a lot of the rage I was feeling. A group of us got together and made it our life's purpose to (1) Quit through it all, and (2) Wreak as much havoc as we could without getting booted to combat some of that bullshit. Holy crap were we successful... Looking back I'm not particularly proud of that necessarily, but I did have a DAMN good time and in hindsight a lot of it was well deserved. To be perfectly honest, that train wreck probably turned my stoppage into a quit by virtue of my asshole nature wanting to give everyone  and I've got way too much integrity to lie on scroll, so I had to stay "quit" just to keep that going. What I can tell you with 100% complete honesty is that I was not quit for those first 100 days, I had simply "stopped" to have a little fun. Those first 100 days were far more painful and drama filled than they needed to be, and I still hadn't learned how to quit. Shit, I'm fucking quit IN SPITE OF THAT FUCKING SITE.

Chapter Two - My next 727...

I did finally figure out how to quit sometime between Day 100 and Day 827. It was one hell of a lot closer to 827 than it was 100 unfortunately, and that's the difference I hope you'll understand. My path is a rarity. This path at QD is a guarantee. All you have to do is follow it. That's all I'm gonna include in this chapter simply because it's irrelevant to this story...

Chapter Three - My final, first 100...

Day 1 here for me was Day 827 of my overall quit. I'd finally, finally had enough. I was done posting at KaveMart, but not posting wasn't an option. I absolutely HAD to find somewhere else to post that promise because I knew that forgetting that I was an addict was not an option. I had to find somewhere to post because I was QUIT and there is no alternative to quit. It didn't take any time at all to figure out that this is where I belong once I found it.

My first 100 days at QD will not be anything like yours. I spent my first 100 days here decompressing. I spent my first 100 days here reading and posting occasionally and nurturing my quit back to the place it belongs. I did these things because quit is selfish that way. It has to be. Your first 100 days at QD will be far more painful than mine have been here, but we're at different stages so that's to be expected. The good news is that your first 100 days will also be significantly less painful than mine were elsewhere, and you will actually QUIT long before I did from a day count perspective. If you read this site, if you heed the incredible advice found on these pages, if you engage with these folks around you, and most importantly if you make it your priority to post to the scroll daily before you do ANYTHING else you WILL QUIT. That's a fact.

The end (of the new beginning)...