If you know where your going, your never in the wrong place.

[Octoman]

When I first logged in, I was lost, I knew I needed to stop using nicotine, but I was looking or an easy way out…I knew a site like QD would help me stop using and I had heard QD was different that other sites that used accountability, but I didn’t know how it was different. 

In July I was hung over for the first time in a long time, not only was I hung over from the booze, but I has used a lot of nicotine in the last couple of days and I could feel my body failing.  feeling like shit I knew I needed to make a change, so without really doing any research on the site first I posted an into. Looking back, I would have bet against the guy that posted that into – that guy knew he needed to stop and was smart enough to post scroll, he used the push back from the active members telling him he was going to fail as something to keep him coming back. A number of other mistakes were made culminating in a post around day 50 that he was going away for the week and would be back to reengage after he went away. This was followed by a shit storm of people once again telling me I was in the wrong place, I didn’t miss scroll while away, so I managed to do the bare minimum to maintain my status as an active plebe… but that’s all I was doing up until then. Around day 50 I knew I needed to stop using nicotine and I knew I needed help to do it, but I didn’t want to be quit until after that.

I approached me quit wrong when  I first showed up, I thought I knew the drill “post scroll each day and work every waking moment to keep that promise until the next day”, I kind of got my shit together after I posted day 1 and learned the difference between being quit one day at a time and never again for any reason… so I came back each day with the mentality never again for any reason (NAFAR), and this helped me to never use nicotine again for any reason from day 1 though the first few weeks…and I mistakenly thought I had this under control again….but I still wasn’t quit.

So, after 50+ days of coming to QD I thought to myself why you are hear…do you want to just count days or do you want to get with the program…this wasn’t my first run at quitting with and accountability site so I decided to start reading century speeches each day and reflecting on what that person learned in their first days of being Quit. And well sure as shit after actually reading and reflecting on what the people who have come before me had learned I started to be come Quit.

I was slow on the uptake but once it started to sink in it all stated to click. I’m not Quit because I post scroll each day, I post scroll each day because I’m quit…. not putting crap in my mouth each day is not what makes me Quit, what makes me quit is that it’s not something I have to event think about anymore. Just like I don’t have to think about not drinking gasoline every day I don’t use nicotine…however there is a difference, I’m a nicotine addict so if drink gasoline today chance are I won’t do it again tomorrow but if reintroduce nicotine into my life changes are it will take over again.

When you start out thinking about making it to 100 or 1000 days is hard to comprehend and its good to celebrate those things…but once your become Quit the number becomes less important and the Quit takes precedence.

I knew I needed help I just wasn’t sure what kind of help I needed, so I would like to thank everyone what engaged with me, I now know that at the end of the day the only reason someone would engage with me on QD is because they wanted me to be able to be Quit like they are…but I had to do the work. I would especially like to thank KD2, Maggs, Lipi, Maverick, and Mitch McDeere…you each know what you did to help me.