Pocket Patter

[Lighty]

Early on in my quit I used or read that term on this site and it was perfect. Who else didn't go anywhere before patting the pocket of their cargo shorts or suit pants to make sure your tin was there. Hell I still do it. But you know what, there is no dip there any more. I remember reading some HOF speeches when I was early in my quit and it was just astounding how similar the stories were to my own. People talk about triggers but when you dipped for 22 years you make it so that EVERYTHING you do all day is a trigger. Like most of you reading this I "stopped" many times only to start up again with much more frequency and intensity. That's the thing you learn about the nic bitch when you quit is that not only is she trying to kill you but she is a spiteful bitch too. Make a half-hearted attempt to quit and you will come back dipping more than you ever did.

That's where accountability comes in. Man who knows if I was going to be one of the people to get cancer? But I know now it's not going to be self inflicted because I was too much of a pussy to be a man and quit something that was killing me. The tough love program and accountability here works. There are thousands of us on here that prove it everyday. I really thought that I was going to be one of those dumbasses who just kept dipping till they dropped dead because I thought I was too weak to stop and cancer wouldn't happen to me. I wasn't. I'm quit and I have burned all bridges. It just isn't an option any more. Early on in my quit the one word that kept coming back to me was FREEDOM. Like many others on here I am very busy and have 2 kids under 5 years old. The freedom of being able to spend time with them and not worry about when I can duck into the bathroom to pack a dip in indescribable.

Nothing worth doing is easy, but quitting this dumbass addiction can be done and it is SO worth it. As a former "pocket patter" for 22 years - if I can do it then so can you.

EDIT: This was my HOF speech down the street.  It's a year and half old but it still resonates with me and sums up a lot of how I'm feeling.  The thing that grabbed me about a forum that I guess I just didn't realize till reading is that I was not a "special" case.  I didn't "like" dipping more than other guys.  I was totally and completely addicted and a slave to nicotine.  It had the same hold on lots of people.  That was jarring for me, because I really did feel that I was in too deep to be able to quit.  Reading that other people did exactly the same shit I used to and had quit this addiction was empowering and really was the final impetus I needed to quit.  If you are reading this and thinking about quitting, just know that you are not a special case.  Nicotine will grab anyone and not let go till you make a stand and cut it out of your life.  It can be done and Quittingdip.com is the place to do it.

Lighty 622 days quit