Knockout's Quit

[Knockout]

Until today I avoided writing public reflections because I didn't think my story could provide much outside of what others already do. With that being said, the lack of juicy uniqueness doesn’t take away from what quitting nicotine means and has meant to my life.

I quit 791 days ago because I was sick of being nicotine’s slave. For 7 years I would leave home at all hours of the night, after panic-inducing moments in which I opened a can and realized I didn’t have enough for the night and following morning. I would use my lunch breaks to go for a drive and dip, go to as many as 4 different gas stations to get “my brand”, and constantly make sacrifices of time and money to feed my addiction. I even hid cans in the houses/cars of family and friends to make sure I always had an out when I needed it.

What this quit has done has shown me I can overcome the greatest of hurdles. When I look back on my accomplishments through 27 years of life, there is none I have more pride in than the decision I made to quit nicotine. When speaking with other “youngsters”, I tell them a defining aspect of adulthood is recognizing when to walk away from a bad situation before you learn the lesson the hard way. Nicotine owned me for 7 years, and even after health, financial, and relationship damages because of it, what I have avoided is infinitely more substantial.

When first coming to the site, here is the information I hope you will read and absorb:

The nonchalance of nicotine’s widespread usage is a byproduct of decades of corporate propaganda and the naivety of those who continue to use it. When you browse through the various layers of this site, you may be intimated by the demeanor of those who call it home. What you must understand is that there can be no leniency in quit. Those who are quit know what happens when people are allowed to slip up. How many promises did you make to yourself or loved ones that you would quit? How many times did you pick a day to quit and subsequently find yourself buying a can that very day? Addicts are liars, especially to themselves. That’s why we are here. When you make your promise to this group, you are gaining the support that pushes you past the vulnerable moments when that little fucking voice in your brain begins to rationalize you putting shit in your mouth again.

It’s not easy. Throughout the first months of quit I experienced a few of the worst days of my life, with panic attacks, constant uneasiness, and the slow process of relearning how to handle stress. But I no longer live as a puppet to nicotine, and the power of that statement resonates to every area of my life.

KO – 791 QUIT