Napa's Centurion Speech, Part 1

[Napa]

Scattershooting on Day 133 and Passing it off as a Centurion Speech

I first want to state for any potential new members that this site will not help you stop using nicotine.

Now continue for the Finale

As I'm jogging down my road 100 + days removed from nicotine and virtually free of high fructose corn sodas, I feel I am as healthy as I have been in 10 years. The only problem is I also feel I'm at the same spot I was 10 years ago. I had quit dipping and started the process of getting myself back in shape. The quit lasted four years, then one day it was gone. I put this in here not to let everyone know I had a long absence from nicotine, but to let everyone know what a colossal dumb ass I was for letting something so destructive back into my life. How did I become so complacent, so fucking cock sure that I could control a drug that had control of me for the previous 23 years? The only answer I could come up with was I didn't see it as a threat after 3 or 4 years.

When I finally made the decision to get back to the business of quitting, I went out of my comfort zone and signed up with an internet support group. This ended up being a huge help. In real life, your co-workers are shoving the shit in your face because they want you to be as miserable as they are and your family doesn't believe you are sincere because they have heard the “ I'm done “ speech a thousand times.

The first month deals with lots of cravings, anxiety, and Fog. It is extremely helpful to have people that have gone through or now going through the same issues. The daily pledge is the part of the process that I can say saved my life. I have told myself hundreds of time in the past that “I'm quitting today “, only to pull into the C store on the way home from work. Now I give my word to a bunch of great guys every morning that I will not use nicotine in any form for the day and that means something. How much does it mean ? Obviously, the more you are invested, the greater the level of commitment one feels. On day one, I didn't want to break my word to a bunch of strangers because I value my word. Now on day 133, there is no way I would break my word to the greatest bunch of dudes and gals I have never met. The formula is all over this site and can not be stated enough, so I will put in my speech.....Accountability + Brotherhood = Success.

 

I always found it funny when someone would call another person a bad ass for not using nicotine. I would think we are not doing something that the majority of the population doesn't do without a thought about it. Then one day around day 50 while I was jogging I started thinking about my cousin. She became hooked on hard core drugs in her teens and stayed on them until her late 20's. We were very close growing up and it was always hard to see what she was putting herself through. When she finally got clean, I would talk to her often and always tell her how bad ass she was for staying off the drugs. Then it hit me, we are not just addicts, we are drug addicts. That “drug” word gets left out more times than not in conversation, and yes, we are Bad Ass for everyday we choose not to use nicotine. Quick trivia: Name the chemical which is labeled as a pesticide and less than 1/8^th of and ounce is considered a lethal dose ?

 

As Rodger Godell once stated “ Ignorance is no excuse” and he was right. Six years ago when I decided I could have a chew I was Ignorant. I didn't

know about the Laws of Addiction. I had no idea I could be dragged back in that easily. I know now and I know I can never let my guard down again.

 

I started this rambling off by stating this site will not help you stop using nicotine and I stand by that statement.

 

The people that make up this site is what helps a person stop using nicotine.

 

To be continued....... in 232 days