shawnd11

Shawn 108

Shawn 108

First post quit dentist visit took place this week. I spent some time in this thread before hand, so I wasn't too wound up or worried about the cancer screen. Still, I knew that as I was getting in the chair that I have a higher than most chance of hearing some bad news. The dentist saw nothing of concern and said that my gums look healthy and congratulated me on my quit. The cleaning was also pretty painless for the first time a almost a couple of decades. Quitting dip gives you so much freedom...dental visits are one example that everyone can relate to.

Shawn 107

Shawn 107

Shawn 106

Shawn 106 with @HandsomeJeff on his 100

Shawn 105

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Shawn 103

Shawn 103

Shawn 102

Shawn 102

Shawn 101

Shawn 101

The first words I wrote on this site were, “Gents, this is it for me, I’m done”. That was on day 10 after I had white knuckled through the first week and a half of no dip. At that point I had no idea what it would take to go from stopping dip to actually being a quitter. Thanks to the brothers here who gave me some course corrections along the way, several lightbulbs have gone off and I’m realizing the freedom that comes with being a quitter. Like every other person here, I’m not special and my story sounds a lot like everyone else. Also, putting my story on an internet forum is not something I would have imagined 101 days ago. However, because I believe in the brotherhood and that someone reading it could connect to theirs, here’s more about my journey: I grew up with two parents that were epic chain smokers often surrounded by a family of smokers. It was about the only thing my family could be accused of staying committed to. I remember always vowing to not be like them, to not be controlled by cigarettes, to not have to pick a restaurant based on if they allow smoking or to smell that way. Then I met nicotine on my own terms and instead of breaking the cycle went into 17 years of full-blown addiction to the fucking plant. My upbringing and the cultural norm of dipping in the Army made it “okay” to behave this way. When I sit here today and think about all those years of dipping, I ask myself, “what could dip have possibly done for me?” It is the reason that I: Lied to my now wife from the very beginning of our relationship about my addiction creating trust issues that still pop up every now and then Put myself in compromising positions at work because I always needed to get a fix with a ninja dip in Spent thousands of dollars and more than that in wasted time manufacturing ways to get a fix Acquired these receding gum lines and stained teeth that I sport (going to get those fuckers whitened) Dip kept me in a perpetual cycle of self-hatred because I knew I needed to quit and continued to fail. Anything else that I tried to change would wait till I “fixed my dip problem” It took my mom from me before I was 30 and now my kids will never know either of my parents (my dad opted out on his own…whole other story) The point is that nicotine never did one fucking thing for me or anyone else that’s ever touched it. Full stop. I first realized that I needed to quit dip in 2006 when my flight surgeon educated and challenged a bunch of us to quit on a deployment in Afghanistan. I went all in and stopped for a year. Got back to the states from that trip and fell straight back into my addiction. There were several short stops throughout the years, but zero quitting. Every time I would get some days behind me some excuse would come up and I’d go back the addiction. I always wanted to break out of the cycle, but never had the stones or the skill to do it. How do I know this time is different? Simple: Accountability + Brotherhood = Quit. I’m accountable every morning when I post my promise and I have made the choice to engage here. It really is not difficult or complicated. As I approach 40, I’ve been thinking more about how I want to accelerate and finish the rest of my life well. I realized I want to be here for my kids and grandkids more than I wanted to be addicted to a plant. I wanted a better marriage and stuffing my face full of dip every night while we had the kids down was an intimacy killer…go figure. I wanted my kids to not have to be the ones that broke the family cycle of addiction to nicotine…I’ll go first. I realized that I was a pussy that was not in control of my own destiny and that had to changed. In short, like the other quitters here, I did it for me and the goals I have always had for my life. The first 100 days is a milestone that is only the beginning of a kick ass quit. Just like the expansion of the universe if accelerating, my quit will continue to accelerate for the rest of my life no matter what the milestone date is. The first 100 is also a time to thank every single quitter here that contributed to my story or put down quit wisdom on this site. I would not be in this position today if I had not found this place and the brothers that come here to quit everyday. Quitting is winning and winning is contagious…especially when you’re surrounded by other winners. In the last 100 days I’ve gained control, lost every fucking excuse I could think of and am making much needed renovations that are unrelated to dip because I’m quit for life. That is all thanks to the accountability and brotherhood in these halls. Fuck dip! See you on scroll

Shawn 100

Shawn 99 with my boy @Jock0 on his 100

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Shawn 96 with @Itchmay on his 100

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Shawn 94