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Quitting Dip

Qash

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  1. One of the celebrated traditions of this site is the rite of passage when you cross the 100-day milestone, and we summarize our thoughts in a HOF speech. – I don’t recall the reason I did not take advantage of this opportunity— procrastination, apathy, maybe nothing to say— or when several years later when ‘urged’ by Lipi, yet I was reluctantly silent… I didn’t engage. Then the other day while on a getaway to LaBufadora, Mexico with my Bride (Who never ever would have considered me a viable husband if I was dipping) I read this parable: ‘An old, poor farmer in ancient China worked a small plot of land with his teenage son. During this time, horses were considered a sign of rare wealth; the richest person in the province owned no more than a few of them. One day, a wild horse galloped into the town, jumped the old farmer’s fence, and began grazing on his land. According to local law, this meant that the horse now rightfully belonged to him and his family. The boy could hardly contain his joy, but the father put his hand on his son’s shoulder and said, “Good luck or bad luck, who knows?” The next day, the horse, not surprisingly, made its escape back to the mountains, and the boy was heartbroken. “Who knows what’s good or bad?” his father said again, with the same composure. On the third day, the horse returned with a dozen wild horses following. The boy could hardly believe his good luck. “We’re rich!” he cried, to which the father replied, “Good luck or bad luck, who knows?” On the fourth day, the boy climbed on one of the wild horses and was thrown, breaking his leg. His father ran to get the doctor; soon both of them were attending to the boy, who was moaning and complaining about his miserable fate. The old farmer wiped the boy’s forehead with a wet cloth, looked deeply into his eyes, and said directly, “My son, who knows what is good or bad? It’s too soon to tell. Be patient and we'll know in time.” And on the fifth day, the province went to war, and army recruiters came through the town and conscripted the eligible young men—except for one with a broken leg’. As the parable suggests, it is true that we rarely know the full value of an experience while the experience is taking place, or even shortly thereafter. I concur and this inspired, motivated, or made me realize that it doesn’t matter what I have to say – I need to engage and share something that a future Plebe or fellow QD may stumble across and can consider or disregard… not my concern how this is received but will provide additional fodder to ponder. Something I should have done after 100 days or 1st year or? After +20 years of dipping (Skoal-mint preferred but ‘any port in a storm), and several attempts to break the cycle on my own…I was resigned to the realization I needed an assist / support and reluctantly searched the internet for ‘tobacco cessation’ and landed at KTC— having never interacted on a social site and clueless how to proceed — I used my work logon – Ammqash – logged in – an gratefully Mark (also from San Diego) was trolling for Plebes, connected, got me started / walked through, got my digits & followed up (still in touch with him to this day) — that was 2/3/14 – Sapper also joined that day and I was with the March Mayhem gang. We shared in a common peril… I recall the physical withdrawals, mental obsessions, hydration, head down, listening, posting each day +1, humility or lack thereof, and the fog lifted. It is well documented how from there the majority of Mayhem and others transitioned to QD and I became Qash. Similar to the cast of characters in the story of Oz, In my first 100 days while I no longer dipped, I believe I thought the goal was to get SOMEWHERE i.e. the Emerald City, see the wizard, get on a balloon, get back Home / Kansas, get back to family to then get to (fill in the blank). Always to get somewhere – to get to the Wizard of Quit…then for me an epiphany occurred, the QUIT is not the wizard, Emerald City, the balloon, or Kansas…I was on the Yellow Brick Road of QUIT. Each day I would post and on this Yellow Brick Road were fellow Quitter’s— some were Scarecrows, Lions, Tin men, Dorothy’s, or Toto’s (plebes) some seeking brains, courage, heart, home, fun, fellowship, brotherhood, accountability, escape, or? — along this road some ended up in the Graveyard that also contained a few witches, flying monkeys, NotaVikingEric, or a rogue munchkin. Each day I am following the Yellow Brick Road of QUIT until such time as I indeed end up in an actual graveyard. From there I may go to the Emerald City or take a balloon to Home or? But I will leave that to the sages, clerics, and prophets… but when I arrive, I will still be QUIT. Thinking back to who I might have been after my initial 100 days — I also recalled the parole speech given by Red in Shawshank Redemption —- “Rehabilitated? Well, now, let me see. You know, I don’t have any idea what that means. I know what you think it means, sonny. To me, it’s just a made-up word. A politician’s word, sonny. Young fellas like yourself can wear a suit and a tie and have a job. What do you really want to know? Am I sorry for what I did? There’s not a day goes by I don’t feel regret. Not because I’m in here. Because you think I should. I look back on the way I was then. A young, stupid kid who committed that terrible crime (Dipping). I want to talk to him. I want to try to talk some sense to him. Tell him the way things are. But I can’t. That kid’s long gone and this old man’s all that’s left. I got to live with that. Rehabilitated? That’s just a bullshit word. So you go on and stamp your form, sonny, and stop wasting my time. Because, to tell you the truth, I don’t give a shit”. I can’t talk to my former self – but we can to a Plebe — and share what was then vs. what can be and there is indeed a nicotine-free reality – your own Zihuatanejo. Brotherhood & Accountability are pillars atop a foundation of Quit – A foundation I poured for myself FIRST and subsequently, others may have benefited. Various levels of engagement – forum, text, phone, in-person, — some engage more than others — with a minimal requirement of Quit and daily promise / acknowledgment via posting a +1. For me in my Quit (especially early on), I can’t over emphasize how valuable it was to meet another Quitter in person. Even if you have nothing in common, to look another Quitter in the eye and PROMISE that I will contact them if I ever consider dipping again & vice-versa, was for me, a level of Accountability that surpassed any other form of interaction. While I may miss a few; In my travels I have met Sapper, @Steakbomb? @Pre @Lighty @Knockout @Lipi @8meds@Doc @JTBrown @Roger @KD2 There are many parts to the body…the QD body—and we are not the same and yes there have been and will continue to be some amputations (graveyard). We all may not be vital organs - the brain, heart, eyes, liver—I may be less critical like an elbow, little toe, or a gall bladder and at times seem to be dispensable, but We collectively are all many parts – One body, One Brotherhood. As it has been 10 years, seems appropriate to quote a lyric from the band Ten Years After… “I can't relate to any power structure, where ego is the driving energy, I let mine go long, long time ago, now, when I decided that I would be free”. Reach out to those that have come before you- indulge, engage, at some point you may be at the entrance of QD for those Plebes whose time has come— and be part of the continuum of QUIT. To paraphrase Yoda— QUIT or QUIT not, there is No try…. If you Choose QUIT - absorb the Wisdom and Experiences of this site, it is All here – Burn the boat, Engage, find your lane or get in them all & join us on the YELLOW BRICK ROAD of QUIT. Qash - ScotTt [Please reach out for number] - I QUIT with you today
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