monkey Posted February 23, 2019 Share Posted February 23, 2019 (edited) After years of many half assed attempts to quit dipping I found myself on the internet looking for something, hell, anything, any other method than the ones I had tried before. I'd buy the replacements because I was going to quit to make someone else happy. My wife, my kids. I'll quit when my son is born. 10 years later, I'll quit when my daughter's born. I don't even remember if I made an effort for those reasons anymore. Probably. I'll be honest, the first few days I posted scroll I was doing it for my wife and kids. That's fine. Whatever it took to get me here. As far I knew at that point I was gonna fail again anyway. At least this time I was gonna try a little harder, right? On day 3 I realized that this posting my promise not to use on scroll, being held accountable by other quitters and engaging with other members was going to work for me. I can still clearly recall that moment. The moment that quit got real. From that moment on I discovered that I have integrity and can keep a simple promise to myself and my quit brother's every day. I also realized that I was never going to succeed trying to be quit for someone else. That day, day 3, I stepped on the road to quitting for myself. When I succeed everyone benefits. Some people get annoyed when I paste the definition of a word into my posts. I'm gonna do it again here because these words are important and this is no time to approach these ideas half-assed. Take your life back, or rather, find your life. That person shoving that shit in his mouth isn't you is it? Time to find out. in·teg·ri·ty Dictionary result for integrity /inˈteɡrədē/ noun 1. the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness. "he is known to be a man of integrity" synonyms: honesty, uprightness, probity, rectitude, honor, honorableness, upstandingness, good character, principle(s), ethics, morals, righteousness, morality, nobility, high-mindedness, right-mindedness, noble-mindedness, virtue, decency, fairness, scrupulousness, sincerity, truthfulness, trustworthiness "I never doubted his integrity" 2. the state of being whole and undivided. "upholding territorial integrity and national sovereignty" synonyms: unity, unification, wholeness, coherence, cohesion, undividedness, togetherness, solidarity, coalition "internal racial unrest threatened the integrity of the federation" Edited February 23, 2019 by monkey Lipi, Napa, Rev and 3 others 4 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Owl Posted February 23, 2019 Share Posted February 23, 2019 When I was using, I thought I had integrity. I would have identified with that definition and said, y'up, that's me. When I signed up here and posted that first promise, it dawned on me: all I'd done for 20+ years...was lie. I'd lie about where I was going when I was going to buy a can of chew, lie about needing to work late to dip, I'd lie about needing to go the the frigging bathroom. I'd lie to myself about quitting -- I'll quit soon, next week...last can...last chew...just one more, then I'm done. Nicotine itself is a lie. It doesn't relax you, it doesn't make anything better, all it does is relieve the symptoms of nicotine withdrawal. It's all a lie. Lying constantly is exhausting and demeaning. Regaining your integrity is one of the best things about quitting dip. It's like a fire. Once it starts, it builds, and starts to spread to other parts of your life, making them better too. monkey 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
monkey Posted February 24, 2019 Author Share Posted February 24, 2019 (edited) I was talking with a guy about a year ago about his countless "I promise you I won't stop trying to get better" excuse to keep being a nicotine addict. We got to the subject of integrity and doing it for yourself and I watched the excuses in his eyes battle with the truth. When I asked him if he had integrity he couldn't look me in the eye and say yes. He half ass quit for a few days and rushed off to buy more mint flavored cancer. Good point @Owl I'm pretty sure I thought I had integrity before quitting. I'm grateful to have learned that I didn't and was able to pull my foggy addict head out of my ass and discover it for myself. No time like the present. Edited February 24, 2019 by monkey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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