Dirty Randy Posted February 12, 2015 Share Posted February 12, 2015 Pulled this out of my distinguished post history: I fucking hate the dentist. I never used to when I was a kid, but ever since I started chewing on a regular basis it's like being in a torture chamber for a half hour. I dread it on the drive there. I dread it sitting in the parking lot trying to get the balls to walk in. I dread it with every step I take towards the door. I dread it sitting in the waiting room with my heart pounding while some elevator music plays over the intercom. I'm convinced every time that I open my mouth they're going to spot something wrong. I sit there while some crazy broad scrapes and stabs the ever-loving fuck out of my gums, convinced that it isn't supposed to hurt like that, and something is wrong. I can hear my fucking heart pounding in my ear the whole time I'm lying in that chair. It feels like the whole chair is moving with my heartbeat. Then the cleaning and scraping torture is finally over, and the dentist comes in. Shit, now I'm fucked. This crazy broad may not have seen it, but the dentist sure as shit will find something. The whole time I've been in this chair I curse myself inwardly for being such a stupid fucking moron and ever using chew. The dentist inspects my mouth, checks my gums, looks for cavities. Holy shit, how has he not said anything yet? Surely he found something by now. He checks my tongue. Nothing? For real? I'm free to go? Relief spreads from my head all the way to the tips of my toes. This must be what it feels like being released from prison after a ten-year sentence. I went to the dentist today for the second time since I quit, and I was still fucking paranoid even though I got a clean bill of health last time. This is the first time I've made it through consecutive dentist visits without chew in a long time, and I want to thank you all for keeping me here and keeping me honest. I'm so thankful that I got another clean bill of health. But seriously though, fuck the dentist. Ihatedipping and Djsoberandfree 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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