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How did this turn out?

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Man. When I was an addict, I would constantly have this underlying fear my wife would find the can in my center console. A couple of times my car was behind hers and the driveway and she was in a rush to get to fencing and she would grab my keys And take the car. My asshole would get tighter than a vice grip. What a shitty and low way to live.

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@SRains918 wow, powerful stuff. The way this hit me is that I had a similar experience with my dad. He does of alcoholism when I was 21. We always begged and pleaded with him to stop drinking as it was destroying him and for the last 2 or so years his mind was completely gone. Unfortunately my dad didn't have the opportunity to try at least squeeze some good out of the situation by speaking to people about the dangers. One of my stoppages was right when my daughter was about to be born for this reason. Not sure what hit me to make me want to be quit this time other than knowing I was a piece of shit. I know the whole not being there for my daughter thing is definitely a part of it. I've never got to know my Dad as an adult which is one of the fun parts of growing up. You can see your parents as people. Unfortunately my adult eyes had to see my dad as an addict shell of his former self which it looks like Ms. Kern had to endure as well. Don't want to put my family through that shit.